Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
