then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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