Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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