so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I skipped work to stalk him.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My life is pants optional.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
