just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
i need some magic done to my vagina
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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