How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
