Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
