Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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