It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
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all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
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I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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