wanna go halves on a baby?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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