tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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