Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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