Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
