Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize