So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
there's paper in my vomit.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
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