Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
