i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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