I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I don't think brook has ever known best
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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