i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
