whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
