Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
