Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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