put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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