Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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