i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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