im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
