she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
