I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize
