you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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