Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
