Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
