watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize