I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
