I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
