also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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