Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
