Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I have post one night stand depression
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
