He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
