You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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