I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
