who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
