let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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