i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize