She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize