if i can run in heels then i can drive
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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