I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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