Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
