I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
