Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
