In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I didn't notice because vodka
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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