My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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