Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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