She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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