Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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