I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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